Wednesday, July 29, 2015

BOOK REVIEW: The Last Time We Say Goodbye by Cynthia Hand

This is a book review for The Last Time We Say Goodbye by Cynthia Hand.

The last time Lex was happy, it was before. When she had a family that was whole. A boyfriend she loved. Friends who didn't look at her like she might break down at any moment. Now she's just the girl whose brother killed himself. And it feels like that's all she'll ever be. As Lex starts to put her life back together, she tries to block out what happened the night Tyler died. But there's a secret she hasn't told anyone-a text Tyler sent, that could have changed everything. Lex's brother is gone. But Lex is about to discover that a ghost doesn't have to be real to keep you from moving on.






"Sorry Mom but I was below empty."

Those were the last words on a post it that Tyler left on a mirror the night he killed himself. There are so many questions Lexie has, the main one being Why? She also has a secret she is hiding about the night that Ty died, a secret that isn't revealed until almost the end of the book, a secret that hurts. A lot. This entire book just hurts. Tyler had been depressed, but then he started therapy and started taking medication. And people kind of forgot about the depression. That is what was so devastating about Tyler's death. In the time leading up to Tyler's suicide, there were no warnings. No signs. Or at least nothing that made sense until after he did what he did. Other books about suicide that I have read focus more on the person who committed suicide than anyone else. This book doesn't do that. The focus is on the people left behind. Yes, there are snippets of Tyler's life. But it is mainly about Lexie's grief and guilt and trying to move on from a horrible tragedy.

Lexie was an easy character to love. She was obsessed with Math and all things numbers. She could tell you how many years you were statistically expected to live or the statistical probability of actually seeing her brother's ghost. She loved numbers because they were rational and logical and always had a clear answer. But Tyler's death wasn't rational and can't be explained away with a clear  numerical solution. I think that is the point of the book. Things don't wrap up in a neat little bow at the end. There are no happy endings here, just lots and lots of grief. 
And oh, her mother was heartbreaking. I was torn between wanting to strangle her for not being there for Lexie and feeling so sad for her because I can't imagine going through that kind of loss. She actually tells Lexie that her life was over. What?!? She lost a child, yes, but she still had Lexie. Yet, she told Lexie that her life was OVER. I just wanted to weep for Lexie. Throughout the book, we get a glimpse of everything Lexie is really feeling in the form of a journal. The journal is her therapist's idea and since she is much more about numbers, she rejects the idea at first. But the journal does help her process her emotions and the grief she is feeling about Tyler. It even helps her process the blame she feels for herself over his death. 

This book was beautiful and such a must read. It has been on my Kindle for months because I had to work myself up to reading such am emotional book. I am so glad I finally got to it!

Buy/Borrow/Skip: Buy!

16 comments :

  1. I'm so glad that you enjoyed this book Cynthia! :-) Brilliant review! It is a heartbreaking read.Chrissi Reads

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  2. Oh I am so glad to hear this was a great book. My library just got the ebook added and I put my name on the wait list. Very excited to read it now - Great review!

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    1. Oh that is so exciting Grace. I hope you love it!

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  3. Such a wonderful review. You almost convinced me to read this book. I just don't think I can handle it. Especially as it sounds like it is so well written. I have to be in just the right state of mind to read such tough stories.

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    1. Thanks Laura. I completely understand what you mean. I have actually had this on my Kindle since January, but I couldn't read it until last month. You have to be prepared for the heavy subject matter for sure.

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  4. Interesting! I love the obsessed with numbers bit - I don't think I read anyone like that before :) And I didn't know about this one either! That's why I love this blog <3

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    1. Thanks Ramona! I know the feeling. Blogging has been horrible for my TBR. Ha. Glad I could introduce another good one. :)

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  5. I want to read this so bad. I'm just wary of all the damp tissues everyone who's ever read it keeps leaving in their wake. Sigh.

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    1. Joy, I know exactly how you feel. I have had this book sitting on my Kindle for six months. It took that long for me to get in the right head space for it.

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  6. The title alone sounds melancholy! I'm glad you enjoyed this one, it sounds utterly engrossing and so full of turmoil. I'd certainly have to be in the mood for this type of read, but thanks for putting it on my radar :)

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    1. Thanks so much Claudia. I completely understand. I had this one on my Kindle for six months before reading it. You just have to prepare yourself for all the feels. :)

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  7. I really enjoyed this book when I read it too, but for some reason I didn't review it right away and it hasn't stuck with me like some other similar books have (like All the Bright Places). I don't know why. I'm actually having a hard time remembering this one now. :-(

    Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction

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    1. Ahhh, that sucks Nicole but I can understand that. All the bright places still resonates with me because of all the emotion. I loved this book, but I wouldn't necessarily put it on the same level.

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  8. I've heard SO MANY good things about this book and the author hself. i wanted to read her other books but i didn't find the time. when i heard about this one, i knew it would be emotionally gripping on me! i hope i get to read it sometime, awesome review <3

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    1. Nova, I have actually never read this author before but I think I need to change that. And I owned this one for six months before finally reading it. I just had to be in the right head space for sure.

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